What Every Parent Needs To Know When Their Child Turns 18

Erika Doty
3 days ago
6 min read

As parents of teenagers our brains often feel like our computer screen - a million tabs open at the same time, full of things we should probably worry about or take care of or add to a list somewhere. Some of it is important. And likely, none of it is this: When your teen turns 18 we lose the authority to do certain things for them. Yep. You read that right. Simply reaching that birthday changes things for us and for them.

Head spinning? Mine too. I have a 17-year-old and a 14-year-old. I will need this information sooner than later. So I dove in. I researched online, talked to experts and - most importantly (in true Babble fashion) - I talked to the boots-on-the-ground mamas in my life who have lived through this transition with their teens.

Below you'll find a list of things you will need to consider as your teen turns 18 and becomes - in the eyes of the government - an adult.

What Changes Legally When They Turn 18

With the simple flip of the calendar page to their 18th birthday a whole bunch of stuff changes in the eyes of the law. It doesn't matter if your 18-year-old still lives with you, is still in high school, or is still on your health insurance plan. According to the law (in most states*) they are now a legal adult and you, as the parent, have limited access to certain things.

Four essential changes happen as soon as your child turns 18:

You no longer have access to their medical records.
Doctor's can no longer speak to you about them without their consent. This includes critical medical decisions.
You can no longer sign documents on their behalf, or manage their finances. You can't break a lease/rent agreement on their behalf, or get involved with credit card charges.
Colleges cannot share academic information or issues with you without their consent.

*18 is the age of majority (adulthood) in 47 states. In Alabama and Nebraska, the age is 19, and in Mississippi, it is 21. Also some states have specific laws in place for certain legal documents. It's always good to double check the details within the state you live in, as well as the state your child lives in (in the event they move away for college).

So, Now What?

Your son/daughter is now 18 and you've been stripped of powers you once had...so now what do you do? The only way to ensure that you can act on their behalf, or help them with the above, is to get the necessary legal documents in order. And it's best to start this process BEFORE they turn 18. Most of these require some prep time, and a notary.

The 4 Essential Forms

1) Medical Power of Attorney & Advance Directive

The Medical Power of Attorney (aka Healthcare Power of Attorney) is the most important of the legal documents for 18-year-olds. It allows a young adult to name someone to make medical decisions if they are unconscious or otherwise unable to make their own decisions.

Accidents, injuries, illness, and mental health crises happen. Hospitals will need authorization to work with a third party for information sharing and decision-making, even a parent.

➡️Please note that while you may have something on file at a doctor’s office or the campus medical clinic, it will not extend to other facilities and most critical situations are treated in hospitals. The medical power of attorney should only go into effect if/when the young adult is incapacitated. And this can be rescinded by the young adult at any time.

The Advance Healthcare Directive is essentially a living will and allows the young adult to state their wishes for medical treatment and life-sustaining care. It also designates end-of-life decisions. These are hard conversations, but necessary. And it is recommended that the parents assist with completing this section, if not all the decisions involved in these documents.

2) Durable Power of Attorney (Financial/Legal Decisions)

This document allows the young adult to name someone to handle financial or legal matters, if necessary. The Durable Power of Attorney should be written so that it is only in effect if/when your young adult is incapacitated, unless they prefer that you have access at any time.

3) HIPAA Authorization Form

You're probably familiar with HIPAA, but may not have thought about it in reference to your own kids. HIPAA (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) is a U.S. federal law that establishes national requirements to protect patient health information from unauthorized disclosure, ensuring privacy and security. As a parent, you will need a signed HIPAA Authorization Form in order to get medical update or information regarding your young adult. This applies to doctors, hospitals, clinics, insurance companies (yes, even if your young adult is on your insurance plan) and any third-party companies working with medical information.

The form is simple. Just one page. But an important addition to the Medical Power of Attorney.

➡️If you’re thinking, “My parents never needed these forms,” that is correct if you went to college before 1996. The HIPAA law was passed in 1996, and we’ve been signing those authorization forms before every doctor’s appointment ever since.

4) FERPA Release

I'll be honest - I'd never heard of this before I started researching this. The FERPA (Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act) is a U.S. federal law that protects the privacy of student education records. For parents to have the right to access academic information such as grades, transcripts, and disciplinary records, a FERPA release must be in place.

This document is optional. It doesn't have any effect on safety or emergencies. Discuss this with your young adult before they head off to college. Depending on your young adult and the relationship you have with them, this may or may not be necessary.

➡️Please note that many schools offer parent portals that will post end-of-term grades which require student permission to access, but not a FERPA form.

How To Get This Completed

Feel overwhelmed? Yeah, I did too. And attorneys are expensive! Don't worry...we talked to parents who have done this before and it's not as scary as it feels. The one recommendation that was thrown at me over and over again was to use the website Mama Bear Legal.

These guys make this process affordable and straight forward. They offer what they call the Young Adult Power of Attorney Package for just $89 and it checks a lot of these boxes.

And remember....these are your young adult's forms to complete. Not yours. At 18 they are adults now and they must be present, need to fully understand the decisions they are making, and then they sign the documents. In some states, parents (or the agent who is named) need to sign the documents, but in most cases just the young adult's signature is required.

➡️Note that power of attorney forms vary by state. HIPAA and FERPA are federal laws, so those forms are national.

Before Anything Gets Signed READ THIS!

You can get all of these documents ready to go before your young adult turns 18. However, they cannot be legally signed until they turn 18 (or reach the "age of majority" in your state).

According to The Dorm Guide, a notary is likely going to be required and sometimes the docs need to be signed in a particular order.

Where to find Notary services:

Banks
Credit unions
Courthouses
UPS stores
Some colleges – check with your Registrar’s Office

Call ahead to determine whether there are any fees, whether an appointment is required, and whether you must bring your own witnesses.

A Few Other Notable Bits of Advise From Parents of Young Adults:

➡️If your young adult will be attending college in a different state, you'll need to pay for and print copies of the Power of Attorney documents for each state.

➡️There is an expiration date on these forms. It was recommended we select 10 years from date of signing (assuming there may be a spouse to fill that role at that time) or to note that the form is valid until revoked.

➡️Additionally, if your child is attending college make sure to have them print out the 1098T form from their student portal at tax time. You’ll get an additional $2500 back on your taxes for for each full time college student.

Get more information on all of the documents and the processes here.

More Great Resources

Your child is turning 18 soon AND heading off to college? There's a lot to think about! Babble has more great recommendations, including advice from actual parents of college students. Check it out here!

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